As For My Message

by Justice Der

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  • Full Digital Discography

    34
    releases

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of As For My Message, IMPROV VOL. 1, NIRVANA COVERS, NOCTURNE, JASMINE (LIVE), HIIWAY (LIVE), COVERS 11, Call More, and 26 more. , and , .

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1.
Wish 03:26
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Your fantasies born from nothing real just feel wrong I'd hate to see myself on every feed to fill silence Don’t judge me I wish I I wish I felt nothing Untied and blind we’ll cry out We’ll try something like ourselves on for a while Don’t judge me I wish I I wish I felt nothing
2.
Common Ground 02:51
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In your basement playing The Bends It was common ground beneath us Rebels just sounding beneath parents You’re saying shit I dont know why You’re better off being tongue tied You’ve tried I’m so sure You don’t know why I’m so sure You don’t know why You Spent a year learning tricks you could try on yourself Growing tired of us Growing tired of someone else Go inside azurescens Hospital beds hitting the pavement I’m so sure You dont know why I’m so sure You dont know why Up in smoke you’re curled and tired But I came home so please come by Please come by Please come by
3.
Untitled 01:00
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4.
Idle Time 03:45
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I was scarred By noncompliant shooting stars Then you came down the hall A couple more then through my door You talked about the opposite Of what I wanted honest shit But In the end you grabbed my wrist You showed me what to do with it You showed me what to do with it We stumbled down a daisy street I wondered how the others would see us We opened up to several shoes socked feet living loose In the entrance huddled then We spent the night and puttered round Took in sights and awkward silence You showed me what to do with it You showed me what to do with it I don’t want to be with you In idle time or in the mood I don’t want to be with you In waterfalls or licking dew I’m so sorry
5.
The Lock 03:00
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Another day We twist each other’s anger I don’t want to talk or fight I don’t want to talk or fight You’ll come out on top all right Not love it’s not lost Im stuck and you’re stuck We’re holding, bruising Loosen, let me untie it All of this hopeless Just slow death Please Just let me untie it I don’t want to talk or fight I don’t want to talk or fight We’re stuck on the lock I’m stuck and you’re stuck We’re holding, bruising Loosen, let me untie it All of this hopeless Just slow death Please Just let me untie it I don’t
6.
Balms 03:28
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I’ll throw my day away With fleeting scenes I’ll never know again And when I’m sleeping I’ll shiver in the shade Through windows in one blink they’re replaced No sense of keeping It feels like It feels like the start of losing self It feels like Life inside the shell And every thought can wait I’ll find a way to numb my conscience Balms with no caution It feels like It feels like the start of losing self It feels like Tt feels like we can’t turn back How did I get so far? How did I get so far from you? How did I get so far from you?
7.
Band 02:55
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In a day I’ll probably do the same Said you went for gas You were drinking from his hand Back in May I knelt You needed time to react React Only in a sense are we bound in a band So so help me how you do Help me how you do Stuck mumbling off cheap beer on ice Shuddering and seeing starry night Back in May I knelt You needed time to react React Only in a sense are we bound in a band Only in a sense are we bound So help me how you do You helped me how you do So help me how you do So help me how you do
8.
What's Left of 2004? 04:18
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I dream the earth is crying And its by our design Awake I feel like lying To feel like I’m a child What’s left of 2004? The colors here are turning The malls are going gray For years we have been yearning For poison and for space What’s left of 2004? I don’t like where I’m going And I don’t like where I’ve gone I’ll be old in heaven Head against the floor Alike we’ll touch our hearts now We’ll speak of better days But never contemplate The eye or hold it’s gaze What’s left of 2004? I don’t like where I’m going And I don’t like where I’ve gone I’ll be old in heaven Head against the floor What’s left of 2004?
9.
I'm Glad 02:53
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You’re a gift If I’m honest And I know I should be But I’ll just throw a guard up Like I’m punching on TV Remember when we listened back In the basement sharing laughs Spent the seasons sharing cans With cold hands All lives go like this No hands then over fist I’m glad to know you We were friends in a sand pit Running rampant once we said it I can be without you But I’m nauseous All lives go like this No hands then over fist All lives are lightning As for my message I’m glad to know you I’m glad to know you

about

This feels completely surreal. I’ve sat with this music for years, and for a long time didn’t know if it would become something I would actually share publicly. These songs started to form in the spring of 2020 when I had the privilege of time and boredom enough to start singing and songwriting. I fell in love with this practice and its ability to foster personal growth more than any other type of music making ever had for me. Images and events from the past surfaced through songs in surprising and cathartic ways.

This was all very new to me as someone who had spent so many years focusing on supporting and playing other people’s music. These songs are very personal. At the very least they feel like honest representations of my daydreams, or stories that meander from real events. I wanted to challenge myself to be more vulnerable than I ever have been, and create something for those of you who really want to listen. My hope is that it feels detailed and intimate.

This project was mostly made alone. That said it would never have come to fruition without the few collaborators I chose to help me, each of which I feel I have a seamless and near telepathic creative flow with. Hans you are amazing and put way more heart into these mixes than I thought was possible. Some of my favourite parts of the whole process were the mix sessions we had where I felt these recordings truly come to life for the first time. Your taste, care and hard work were so essential to this album. Colin you are a genius and made the most beautiful videos with so little. Your effort and skill helped build the world of my dreams for this project. Stephen your drums added so much life and a grander sense of dynamics to the project. I never pictured another drummer on these songs. It always feels effortless working with you and Matt. Paige your single artworks and design came at a critical time in the process, and helped inform so much of the visual direction for the album. Your photos are always a source of inspiration. Joao it was an honour to have you master this project. You made it all gel so well, and I learned so much from watching you work. Rachel thank you for all of your love and support throughout the process. I truly wanted to quit many times and you always gave me the boost I needed.

These thank yous would be incomplete without mentioning the people that let me live in their own creative worlds over the course of this project. This album never would have come about without the amazing and vibrant community of creatives I am so lucky to work within. I learned so much from all of you: Rachel, Marley, Mileena, Alex, Ray, Nardos, Amaka, Lane, Katie, Maria, Chris, Sam, Jieyl, Felix, Isaac, Henry, Colin, Jake and everyone else ❤️

I dedicate this album to my grandpa who I lost while working on this. He passed peacefully listening to his favourite Hank Williams songs. The first guitar I ever played was his, and I can’t help but feel like his love of music is still inside of me. As for my message? That’s up to you to decide! This record is no longer mine. I hope it nestles into your lives gently and with meaning. From the bottom of my heart thank you for listening. Enjoy AS FOR MY MESSAGE ‼️

credits

released April 20, 2024

Written, Produced and Arranged by Justice Der

Vocals, guitar, bass, synthesizers, programming and percussion by Justice Der
Stephen Bennett - drum kit/percussion (tracks 1, 2)
Matt Grosso, Stephen Bennett - drum kit/percussion engineering (tracks 1, 2)

Hans Li - Mixing
Joao Carvalho - Mastering
Justice Der - Album art
Paige Paton - Single artworks

Recorded at home
Drum kit/percussion on Wish and Common Ground recorded at Nightlight Studios

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Justice Der Toronto, Ontario

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